If a man is as old as he feels, how old is a man in love? Old can mean weak, worn out and faded but it can also mean ripe, mature and proven. Suffice to say people can either grow weary with time or get better with age. Likewise, the fire of love can either be extinguished by age or it can endure the test of time. How do you maintain a lively relationship over time? Because keeping the flame alive in a long term relationship is not just for pleasure but fulfillment.
What wears love?
Please share your own thoughts in the comment section below. Love is a feeling towards another. A hopeful feeling. So hopeful that it extends to a relationship.
But in most cases, it is a gamble. Because you look at the person you love and see something; but many other people may not see the same thing. When others see “fat”, the one in love may see “Phat or Curvy”. Even when others see “thin”, the one crazily in love sees “slender” or “healthy”. And when others see “proud and boastful”, the one drunk with love sees “confident and direct”.
So, can you really trust this feeling? Maybe! Because, if you are fortunate, it will guide you home to the people who matter most. And so you will be welcomed home with warm hugs and kisses. If it works out, it will show you the path to meaning in life. Your family will give you responsibility and purpose. And without love, you may end up feeling empty. But where there are expectations, you will most likely find disappointments. Such failed expectations drain love over time. At the same time you may also be working overtime to impress.
So what can we do to keep the flame alive?
1.Be sure and be true. Before you commit, be sure that you have found the one for you. Meaning you should consider all your doubts and decide that you want to be in a relationship. That moment will be like the North of your compass when travelling through time. Otherwise if you have many doubts, then you may be walking into quicksand. When the time comes, your foundation will give in. Who will be able to pull you out of that..?
2.Love is a feeling, attach value to it. While some people find it difficult just to say, “I love you” others just say it easily without meaning it. What are the words worth to you? Show that you love someone.
3.Expectation is good but appreciation is better. While expectations are good in that they are future oriented, appreciation is a more stable pillar. Expectations may fail because the future is not certain. But appreciation is solid ground because it focuses on what has already happened. So be grateful for what you have and build on it.
4.Your treasure chest. Keep your memories alive. When things change, one way to keep love alive is to relive the happy moments. Own your story and tell it even when times have changed.
5.Grow together. However memories alone can not sufficiently fuel your the flame. When things change, sometimes you have to change too. Intertwine your experiences in a healthy and progressive way. Don’t be too clingy. Let go of the past and give your partner room to grow. If you can keep up with each other’s pace, you can keep the flame the flame alive.