Sometimes social understanding escapes me. I just find myself outside the the larger social environment, asking questions like; why do people even say things like “it’s hot today!” when it’s so pointless? From this angle, a lot of the chit-chat and idle time we spend with other people seems useless. Social media posts are even worse; it’s almost like people are talking to themselves in public. But I guess that’s what makes us human, what draws us together and strengthens the bonds.
Nourish the bonds and lubricate the relationship
People want to share. We need to exchange information and to express our feelings. We also want to influence others and meet social expectations. And while the bulk of our imaginations is kept to ourselves, we also share these inventive thoughts very often. There are so many people who talk for a living. More so these days, when technology allows it. Yet even talking as a service is secondary when compared to our personal/social need to share. All things considered, it is this sharing that fosters and nourishes bonds. As it happens, when asked to say something, one usually thinks of the “meaningful” things to share. Such things as small talk don’t qualify. Yet small talk is as vital to establishing rapport as functional conversation.
Similarly when people only get little opportunity to spend time together they try to coordinate meet ups. Sometimes it’s so unnatural that the bond they intend to strengthen fails to find the proper grip of true companionship. So imagine if artists just painted everything they had to say. The world would probably have beautiful paintings, yet for their overwhelming abundance, we wouldn’t appreciate them. Imagine if everyone was only throwing nuggets of wisdom. The monasteries would be like the capital cities – that is if we still had anyone fleshly enough to be parents. So loosen up, the world can run on it’s own. Plant, it’s blessed to grow. Be that natural and free.
There are time wasters for real but when there is potential for progress, let the chemistry. With the right company, small talk and serious discussions are like water and rain.